The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Human beings were made for music. Its thrill and rapture are picked up almost immediately by little children

There are four ways God answers prayer: No not yet No I love you too much Yes I thought you'd never ask Yes and here's more.

Just remember, kid, you can quicker get back a million dollars that was stole than a word that you gave away.

American citizens should not lose their constitutional rights because they lack the money to pay for them.

Angels do not have bodies in the traditional sense, but they have etheric forms that we can feel. Most of us are feeling the angels more than any other connection.

When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'

The blind eate many a flie. [The blind eat many a fly.]

I believe that, before all else, I'm a human being, no less than you.

You know, everybody believes in free speech until you start questioning them about it.

Because faithfulness is not a human question, but a divine one.