The Right Honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts.

He is the very pineapple of politeness.

A circulating library in a town is as an evergreen tree of diabolical knowledge.

When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" The answer was, "Swapping lies.

An aspersion upon my parts of speech!

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.

A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.

An unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance!

Fertilizer does no good in a heap, but a little spread around works miracles all over.

Never say more than is necessary.

The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.

Embrace each other with joyful smiles and sacred kiss.

This was the bonus to liberal Christianity: I could use my reason and believe at the same time.

For a heart without love is a song with no words And a tune to which no one is listening So your heart must give love and you'll find that You shine like rain on the leaves you'll be glistening.

Lay hold of something that will help you, and then use it to help somebody else.

That all power of suspending laws, or the execution of laws, by any authority, without consent of the representatives of the people, is injurious to their rights, and ought not to be exercised.

People tend to believe the bad rather than the good.

I was never blinded by the American dream. I have my own dreams. You know what I'm saying? The Joey dream.

I'm a man, and I think every man wants to be No. 1.

I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.

Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.