'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Eggshells become hard to break after walking on them for so long.

Life is better than any movie or TV show. In real life there is no plot and there are billions of characters.

My husband, Jim, converted to Judaism just before our wedding.

If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.

In my beach shack, we'll be alone. In my beach shack, I'll make you feel at home.

People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.

Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.

Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

There is a difference between being poor and being broke. Broke is temporary, and poor is eternal.

Life is the most spectacular show on earth.