The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Every lie needs, and gives birth to, another lie

It's emotions. Sometimes you feel, sometimes you don't. You can't force yourself into feeling something, can you?

Retirement: Twice as much husband half as much pay.

It's all about people. It's all about the subjectivity of what people love.

At one of my lowest points, sugar had a painful grip on me. I'd buy/binge and then beat myself up over my behavior.

C++ is a horrible language. It's made more horrible by the fact that a lot of substandard programmers use it, to the point where it's much much easier to generate total and utter crap with it.

I've always suggested if you can't stand the sight of your own blood, don't run for office.

I was always into music. I think everyone is when they're a teenager, as a way to drown out the world.

When I get too much rest, I'm usually erotic.

There's only one way to prep, so far as I know. You have your script, you hire the people you want, you find your locations and your setups, everybody shows up and you shoot the film.