The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are a-bloom with flowers...

The point isn't to win the game. The point is to play a beautiful game. (paraphrased)

At some point, life starts to pass you by and becomes about avoidance. I want to stay clear from that situation, because I don't like that.

I don't suspect that in many instances the artists who are dedicated in that fashion to the progress of that community are as well protected by the community as might be necessary.

We need to ask ourselves what are we here for and what have we worked so hard to be here for.

I can make cookies and do easy stuff. Pies are very specific and hard to do well though.

In the end, the country is going the say, You know, whatever [Donald] Trump's weaknesses may be, he's a sincere guy trying very hard to get this country back on the right track.

Oh! I don't think I would like to catch a sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about.

The tide has changed. You have to be able to improvise in today's NFL.

America decided we were going to stand by and let Americans die at the hands of terrorists a long time ago