The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

To risk life to save a smile on a face of a woman or a child is the secret of chivalry.

Each country can absorb only a limited number of Jews, if she doesn't want disorders in her stomach. Germany already has too many Jews

I love thrillers. I would even read certain science fiction, although I haven't been a devotee for many years.

We're trying to impress ourselves in a way. That's why we keep trying to do things better... we never get satisfied.

I've been asked over the years to compile a list of desert-island discs. I couldn't do that. If I was trapped on a desert island, I don't think I'd want 10 songs to bring with me.

True love isn't reserved for weddings and ceremonies. It's from the heart. That's all it has to be. All it ever is.

In most cases, when people make more money, they get deeper in debt. This is why money alone does not make you rich.

While truth is always bitter, pleasantness waits upon evildoing.

Through song you learn, and I think school systems need to learn that. Through the rhythm you can learn better, through melody, with something you need to learn, it's a vehicle for it.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but foresight is better, especially when it comes to saving life, or some pain!