The Vice Presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm spit.

The single biggest time waster in the world is not completing what you start.

You have to do a little bragging on yourself even to your relatives-man doesn't get anywhere without advertising.

The trouble today is that we have too many laws.

Vice president: A spare tire on the automobile of government.

I have always done what I thought was best for my country, never varying unless I was advised that two-thirds of the Democrats were for a bill and then I voted for it.

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain.

I hate to read books but a friend said he read the dictionary and that the Zebra did it.

The business of wretches is wretched even in guarantee giving.

Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just... nothing.

America needs to be a lot more like the Waltons and a lot less like The Simpsons.

The place in which I'll fit will not exist until I make it.

There is a saying in the Neverland that,every time you breathe, a grown-up dies.

Plastic shoes are to the shoe world what fast food is to fine cuisine.

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her; if you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

Perhaps all early love affairs ought to be strangled or drowned, like so many blind kittens.