The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

Making a decision to live a life of excellence, and living a life of excellence are two difference things.

People say, 'Time heals all wounds.' That may be true, but relocating to an alternate reality can sure help too." -Excerpt from the journal of Dr. Harold Quickly, 1941

Do you remember?' Someone's always asking andsomeone else, always does

You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.

In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

We are not all leaders. We are called leaders.

I don't have the notion that everybody has to write in some single academic style

The family is the foundation for love and for maintaining spirituality

What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.