The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least possible amount of hissing.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

The whales do not sing because they have an answer, they sing because they have a song.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

If you look at Paleolithic cave paintings, you see how people were depicted inside nature, not outside it. It was a kind of dream time. That's what I'm exploring.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

I wish I didn’t have a heart that God wrote Sad on.

I had a hundred and seventeen days in which to convince Will Traynor that he had a reason to live.

Let's get back to work and make another run at it!

It wasn't until The Sixth Sense that people started saying, wow, man, you're an actor. People didn't think of me as the guy in a band anymore.

Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

I'm only interested in two kinds of people, those who can entertain me and those who can advance my career.

I'm not Tom Cruise. Very few British actors are. If you look at the body of work I've done it's pretty obvious I'm not going to make a 'Mission: Impossible.'

The limits of your imagination are not the boundaries of my universe.

Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest.

In Zen, actions speak louder than words. Doing is more important than knowing, and knowledge which cannot be translated into action is of little worth.