The audience is not your boss. They are your collaborators and when you collaborate with someone you don't have to listen to everything they think or say.

Shrimp are the insects of the ocean. They're bottom feeders. So they're delicious, but they're the bugs of the sea.

If you're driving down the street, you keep the neck forward. So that way you can clear out the lanes.

The thing is that where I want to go isn't necessarily tied to what's going on there politically, but I think Vietnam is a really beautiful country. I think Thailand is also really beautiful.

I just got diagnosed with tendonitis which is such an insulting diagnosis. Just point to my shoulder and say "old."

I think Batman Returns is right for riffs. I love it but it's the ultimate Tim Burton movie. There is so much that happens that's crazy and there are a ton of things to riff.

I can't do Christopher Walken impressions anymore, thanks [Barack] Obama.

When you're a young comedian the first thing you want to do is get a laugh.

As you go on you realize "Okay I know how to get laughs but am I saying things I want to say? Am I writing jokes that I like?" You get to a point that is that so you move on.

Netflix is very protective with their information .

I read recently that I was born in Arizona. I wasn't born in Arizona. I was born in New Mexico, but I can understand why people might confuse those two Southwestern desert states.

Smartass Disciple: Three years! I've listened you preaching just for this silly truth?Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth?

Gawd knows and 'E won't split on a pal.

That thing in you that you think is a demon is actually a bodyguard that's run amok

If you find something you are passionate about, you've got to try. Even if something doesn't quite work out, disappointment is a temporary thing. Regret lasts forever.

A colourist makes his presence known even in a simple charcoal drawing.

American Taliban John Walker Lindh has pleaded guilty to two counts of terrorism and will face twenty years in prison. I guess that means his jihad is on ji-hold.

There's a difference between the blues of the New Orleans guys and anyone else and the difference is in a chord, but I can't figure the name of it. It's a different chord, and they all make it.

Honesty is as much saying everything as it is saying what is true.

The media did not make Donald Trump, and they can't destroy him.