The audience will always forgive you for being wrong and exciting, but never for being right and dull.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.

When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.

Money doesn't buy happiness. It buys great hookers - but not happiness.

All you really have in the end are your stories.

The best way not to fail again is to be absolutely positive that when you do it this time, you're going to do it right.

If you hold on to things long enough, they get back into style. Like me.

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.

I can tell a young person where the mines are, but he's probably going to step on them anyway.

You're not a man until your father says you're a man.

If you hang onto something long enough, it will come back in style.. Like ME.

I feel the reason we are all here, our purpose of being, is to help others find their little piece of happiness and heaven right here on earth.

Perhaps I just wanted to know what it was that I wanted. Maybe that is all that growing up means.

The led must not be compelled; they must be able to choose their own leader.

Few men know all the ill they do.

There are limits to power, as those who put their hopes in a constitution always discover.

It's too bad, but the way American people are, now that they have all this capability, instead of taking advantage of it, they'll probably just piss it all away.

Great thinking is its own reward.

Mother Teresa once said, "Holy living consists in doing God's work with a smile." ... The last thing many believers need is to go to another Bible study.

In performance, you dont always feel that sort of family bond right off the top. It sort of develops and grows over time.

There is no need to fear the strong. All one needs is to know the method of overcoming them. There is a special jujitsu for every strong man.