The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Because of you, I can see and realize the beauty of life.

...Coca-Cola and fries, the wafer and wine of the Western religion of commerce.

Shall we stop this bleeding?

I'd like to be a working actor. It sounds really trite, but there really are no small parts, only small actors. And so as long as I'm a working actor, I can improve.

I dislike being an anvil for the hammering out of other people's virtues.

Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct.

The more identities a man has, the more they express the person they conceal.

The heart of the melody can never be put down on paper.

He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today.

The goal of physiological research is functional nature.