The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

The woods are full of poison berries but you don't have to eat them.

If you get to a point where something happens today to stress you out, take a breath & center your thoughts on peace. Ignored thoughts die.

True time is four-dimensional.

Dirk Gently has been a long passion (my career started with Douglas Adams and my stage adaptation of Dirk Gently) .

So, what I say to people is that politics has got to be about principle and values above all. Of course, there are times when you have to make accommodations.

I don't think that my films are 'literary'; they are based on the most ordinary things of life.

When I see grace in a woman, that's very sexy. You can tell by how someone moves or their rhythm.

It is only in the space that our thoughts and our feelings enclose that our happiness can breathe in freedom.

All art at some time and in some manner becomes mass entertainment, and if it does not it dies and is forgotten.

The only people with power today are the audience. And that is increasing with Twitter, Facebook, and everything else. We cater to their likes and dislikes, and you ignore that at your peril.