The bar for being shocking doesn't even exist anymore. What am I going to do to shock people? Seriously, try to get The Fisting Musical off the ground? Its really at this point, there is no bar.

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets.

As with anything creative, change is inevitable.

Sufering is only intolerable when nobody cares. One continually sees that faith in God and his care is made infinitely easier by faith in someone who has shown kindness and sympathy.

If we keep everything in balance, we are in harmony with ourselves and are at peace.

There is scarcely any fault in another which offends us more than vanity, though perhaps there is none that really injures us so little.

Few people know this about me, but I love baking pies.

My short-term vision is the abolition of nuclear weapons. My long-term vision is the abolition of war.

My childhood was a happy one, spent in a tall house in South Kensington and later in East Sussex, but my early and mid teens were less successful.

I understand that everything is connected, that all roads meet, and that all rivers flow into the same sea.

Because the Beloved wants to know, unseen things become manifest. Hiding is the hidden purpose of creation.