The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100, 000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy. Laziness may look inviting, but only work gives you true satisfaction.

We attract what we are prepared to receive.

I basically don't do that well with children, although my sister says I'm a great aunt.

We have to see that all of us are in the same boat.

Fighting in the air is not sport. It is scientific murder.

We must have order, allocating to each thing its proper place and giving to each thing is due according to its nature.

Seeing the world differently is one of the toughest incompatibilities to reconcile in a relationship.

You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said.

When everybody has access to an avalanche of information, becoming a master thinker is very important in your life-long security.

How come "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?