The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Om (AUM) is the truth of all truths, the light of all lights and the destroyer of all illusions.

I like to sleep. I like to do nothing. Nothing is my favorite kind of something.

The Bush administration is a paragon of wisdom.

I really like to look like a history book. I can look 1940s, I can look 1970s hippie-chic, or sometimes I'll pull that '80s Brooklyn hip-hop kid with the door-knocker earrings.

Your parents tell you that you can do anything that you want, but then you turn 20, and they're like "I think you should be a doctor, instead of a musician."

I always love coming to Disneyland but celebrating my birthday here with my family, friends and the kids from YSA is really awesome!, this is a night I'll never forget.

Because publishing is becoming more business-oriented each day with more examination of the bottom line, it's harder to break out than ever.

The heyday of video music was the mid 80's.

I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.

I'm convinced that democracy cannot be exported from one country to another, like you cannot expert revolutions, ideology.