The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Dreams weigh nothing. - Marie Antoinette

If only a world-wide consciousness could arise that all division and fission are due to the splitting of opposites in the psyche, then we should know where to begin.

Many South African tribes used extracts from the African bush willow to heal the sick.

I've been treated as less than human, as a thing, as a pawn. And just because I don't have a Bible or a microphone-just because I don't draw millions of people on TV-doesn't mean I'm not human.

I've been working so hard for the past eight years and I'm tired - but I'm also deliciously tired because what a wonderful life I've lived.

Love is one factor - but not the only on - that God uses to promote the permanence of the marriage bond.

I have a lot of friends who come and stay, and we talk about the world.

So it's been kind of a long road, but it was a good journey altogether.

The sweeter sound of woman's praise.