The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Beauty without expression is boring.

i want to be stronger, so i can protect what i love more.

If she actually had friends, maybe she wouldn't have turned out so nasty and evil.

I am still the same person doing the same science. Why are people so impressed when some academy in Sweden gives an award?

I don't think we ever clash but we do become frosty.

The average Christian leaves planet earth never having led anyone to Christ.

I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.

For the great mass of mankind the only saving grace that is needed is steady fidelity to what is nearest to hand and heart in the short moment of each human effort.

What I don't understand is how a policy against outing trumps a policy of reporting. Whenever you're reporting on hypocrisy, you're kind of 'outing' something to begin with.

Stop going to the zoos! Don't take your children to the zoos! No creature ever deserves captivity without any crime!