The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

If somebody says 'I love you' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? 'I love you, too'.

More than ninety-five percent of your brain activity, as you consciously read this sentence, is being used by your subconscious mind.

You can alter mood by running.

A failure is only a step on the way to your success.

I don’t think we can solve the outside problems until we solve the ones within.

She knows no difference 'twixt head and privities who devours immense oysters at midnight.

The way is light and fluid for the man with no preferences.

I think it's dead bodies that really haunt me.

In order for us to liberate the energy of our strength, our weakness must first have a chance to reveal itself.

The more I reflect on the graces I have received, the more they astonish me and make me tremble.