The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

God doesn't like it when we ask Him for the smallest things, dare to make your dream so big that He can conveniently fit into it and make your dream come true.

The miracle centered gospel breeds up a mentality of people that think they could go through life without doing their best.

He's soft and strong at the same time

What is your type?"I shrugged. "Non-existent.

Pursue excellence; ignore success.

Religion was important to me. My family and I were very religious. I acctualy believe the work I did was a calling from God himself.

I've never been in love with Marcello [Mastroianni]. I wasn't even attracted to him physically. I admired him. I followed him and supported him, but nothing ever clicked.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

A happy wedlock is a long falling in love.

Your mate doesn't live by bread alone; he or she needs to be 'buttered up' from time to time.