The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Before me even as behind God is and all is well.

Jason's favorite person in the entire universe was Jason Stackhouse.

The strength of your life is measured by the strength of your will.

Hardy, I do believe they have done it at last... my backbone is shot through.

Baby booty, juicy fruity, truck stop cutie, road side beauty, I'm in love with you.

I remember when I first won the Academy Award, and how much I loved it. I just wish there was an award around that you could really believe in again.

I love long walks on the beach, big dicks, and fried chicken.

You must be much WITH God before you can be much FOR God.

There is a legacy of violence against native women that has gotten worse and worse over time.

Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World.