The bigger the show, the weirder it is.

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.

A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.

The big yellow one is the sun!

I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents. That surprised me, I was like Mom did you read this?

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.

I hate getting off the elevator on the wrong floor? Anyone ever do that... and then you have to turn around and face those people. I feel like I owe everyone in there an explanation.

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?

The prank is entitled "Subverting the Patriarchal Paradigm".

Fpr years I thought we were on the same page... then I discovered we were NOT even in the same book...

I am not bound to win but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed but I am bound to live up to what light I have.

Self-acknowledgment boosts your emotional and spiritual immunity, giving you the strength you need to release the past and rise above fear, doubt or resignation.

If you were not a sinful, polluted, helpless, and miserable creature, this Savior would not be suited to you, and you would not be comprehended in his gracious invitations to the children of men.

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.

Stirner and Nietzsche ... reveal how prone morality is to being used as a means of rationalization, a cloak for concealing violent and brutish passions, and making their sadistic expression a virtue.

We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down, and worry about our place in the dirt.

There are many people who live with terrorism every day.

I find the more you analyze, the less you really know.