The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

To be fearlessly vulnerable with someone…One of the deepest, most desirable paradoxes of love.

Whenever regulation increases, personal freedom decreases.

Some empirical feelings, such as sympathy, are indispensable parts of certain moral virtues.

Transferring our sovereignty and decisionmaking power to the WTO, to the United Nations, or any other international body is not in the long-term interests of our people.

I never posed as a saint. I would have slept with a man for nothing if I liked him well enough.

From suffering I have learned this: that whoever is sore wounded by love will never be made whole unless she embraces the very same love which wounded her.

Never say no. It always depends on what's possible. I don't care so much where it is; it's what I want to do that matters.

Redefine the possible.

The Church must be forever building, for it is forever decaying within and attacked from without.

My folks still live in my childhood home, and so when I'm home with them, I usually feel the best.