The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy people want to go out and kill each other I'm a happy guy!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

If you are ready for the secret, you already possess one half of it, therefore, you will readily recognize the other half the moment it reaches your mind.

Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is absolute master of all industry and commerce.

The wisdom of nations lies in their proverbs which are brief and pithy.

I see nothing in the present situation that is either menacing or warrants pessimism.

I miss my dad every day, but I know he would be proud to see me continuing to swim and going for another shot at the Olympics.

It's clear Israel has suspended the peace process, despite the so-called moderation of the Arab world, because it has no interest in peace.

What's wrong?" I didn't say a word." Something's up. What is it?" Nothing." His head turned, gaze going to mine. "Yeah?" Yes." A snort and he returned to his bowl.

A man can make money but, money can't make a man.

The force of character is cumulative.

I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.