The blues and jazz will live forever... So will the Delta and the Big Easy.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.

I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

Where do men find it in themselves to do such monstrous things?

The customer always comes first.

Be realistic, demand the impossible!

The Olympics show that your dream can come true if you work hard. It's not impossible.

There's only so far you can go before you say enough is enough.

If I have a mission in life, it is to convince people that everyone is morally motivated - everyone except for psychopaths.

But of course I love my Japanese fans and the show must go on, no matter the daily aftershocks or husband kidnappings! It's not right but it's okay

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

Practice is everything. This is often misquoted as Practice makes perfect.

You're a monster. Thanks. Does this mean I get a raise? No, just a medal. The budget isn't inexhaustable.