The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The real world is oftentimes different from what you expect it to be, what you think it to be, and what people might say it to be.

After one has read everything and thought everything, one still have everything to learn.

Service Excellence eats discount and rebate for breakfast.

Mars has been flown by, orbited, smacked into, radar inspected, and rocketed onto, as well as bounced upon, rolled over, shoveled, drilled into, baked, and even laser blasted.

Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.

All of the young people - the artsy people, people who get overlooked because they're weird or they don't have hype around them - need to get some shine.

Hillary Clinton's bad instincts and her bad judgment, something pointed out by Bernie Sanders, are what caused so many of the disasters unfolding today.

The shudder of awe is humanity's highest faculty, Even though this world is forever altering its values.

All fish are not caught with flies

Do we open ourselves to the Holy Spirit, so as to be an active part of our communities, or do we close in on ourselves, saying 'I have so many things to do, that's not my job'?