The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

Confronted by menace or what is perceived as menace, governments will usually attempt to smash it, rarely to examine it, understand it, and drefine it.

I am lover of words... I am wickedly drunk with the magic of words... the poetic nature whispers through and to my very heart and soul.

When you decide to be all you can be you will be better for it

I cannot explain it; but when difficulties arise, I am not perplexed or doubtful. I know how to meet them.

One of the first lessons a president has to learn is that every word he says weighs a ton.

A night journey is essentially a thing of possibilities.

I did theater at Carnegie, and in Pittsburgh and New York.

It was wrong to allow Stalin to shape the European landscape of the 20th century. It would be even more wrong to let him shape the landscape of the 21st century

I'm the demon alcohol, demon alcohol, demon alcohol, demon alcohol. Let's party.

We will not cut one penny from the safety net until we've cut every penny from corporate welfare.