The capacity for erroneous belief is very great, especially where it coincides with convenience.

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

Oligopoly is an imperfect monopoly. Like the despotism of the Dual Monarchy, it is saved only by its incompetence.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

But there is merit even in the mentally retarded legislator. He asks the questions that everyone is afraid to ask for fear of seeming simple.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error.

The process by which banks create money is so simple that the mind is repelled.

There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.

Simple minds, presumably, are the easiest to manage.

Every corner of the public psyche is canvassed by some of the most talented citizens to see if the desire for some merchandisable product can be cultivated.

I am a loser in my own plot, but I might be the hero in someone else's plot.

Therapy can’t erase scars, it only makes it easier to live with them. — Duke

That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.~ Catch-22

Capitalism and socialism are tools. Each have pros and cons. For each task, use the one that makes the most sense.

I came to Ottawa with the firm belief that the only people in this country who should have guns are police officers and soldiers.

Composing a piece of music is very feminine. It is sensitive, emotional, contemplative. By comparison, doing housework is positively masculine.

Obviously, you always want to win, but you want to win by skiing a race that you're proud of and you feel like you really challenged yourself and left it all out there.

And then, for an old man like me, it's not exactly right,This kind o' playing soldier with no enemy in sight.

Of course, most of the people in this world are stressed, and most of those who are not stressed are totally bored!

Empathize with stupidity and you're halfway to thinking like an idiot.