The capacity of the human mind for swallowing nonsense and spewing it forth in violent and repressive action has never yet been plumbed.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

There is no difference between the person living in ignorance and the person living in darkness.

Strongest pain often gives the deepest pleasure.

The society of women is the foundation of good manners.

I love to go to the places where things happen. I like to walk the walk and see how the light falls and what winter feels like.

A miracle is an event which creates faith. That is the purpose and nature of miracles. Frauds deceive. An event which creates faith does not deceive: therefore it is not a fraud, but a miracle.

I got sunburnt which is obviously a drag for me because in theory the sun is supposed to kill me.

I would have to go back to being a dog. I've called myself a dog for many years.

If you write, one of the questions you're always trying to answer is, Where do you get your ideas? And, if you write, you know how pointless a question this is and how difficult it is to answer.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

It’s the combination of improbability with an independently given pattern that discredits chance.