The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

When you love yourself, you love your spirit, so everyone can feel it, because everyone is a spiritual being.

Poverty is the worst form of violence.

The test of your Christian Faith is to stand by the Truth of God's Word in the face of opposition without Compromise ... JOA

I wish I could invent a square, said everyone.

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.

I'm very eclectic in what I like and what I listen to. But my favorite musical ever is "The Sound of Music." That was actually one that inspired me to sing.

There is nothing so dreadful as a great victory--except a great defeat.

Reason deceives us more often than does nature.

Cruel, but composed and bland, Dumb, inscrutable and grand, So Tiberius might have sat, Had Tiberius been a cat.

I blew the college boards, and to ease the snub from Harvard made a tour of Europe.