The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.

There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.

A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut.

Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine.

There is nothing personal about a personal ad.

They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately.

Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.

Hurry up and learn patience.

If you have to learn it from a self-help book, you may be beyond help.

You ought to be blowing me kisses, wench.

In a world plagued with commonplace tragedies, only one thing exists that truly has the power to save lives, and that is love.

You must be a blessing to other people while you are still on this earth

Deep within my soul lies a great light.

Failure is not the final fall. The will to rise when you fall is fortitude to success.

May I live to see the day when I long for the agony I feel now. /ながらへば またこのごろや しのばれむ 憂しと見し世ぞ いまは恋しき

I had accumulated some capital and was at an age at which I was interested in generating income. But even though I was risk averse, I was interested in growth stocks.

I am not for abortion; nobody is for abortion. I am for your right to make your own hard choices in this world.

Sometimes, the actors are thrilled to have visitors because they're just waiting most of the day. It's the directors that are a little busy.

So, then, Oxford Street, stonyhearted stepmother, thou that listenest to the sighs of orphans, and drinkest the tears of children, at length I was dismissed from thee.