The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

A man without decision can never be said to belong to himself he is as a wave of the sea or a feather in the air which every breeze blows about.

I hoped there would be a better process. But it is final -- I will not participate .

Everybody does the things that top people do occasionally. Top people do these things all of the time.

The highest treason, the meanest treason, is to deny the holiness of this little blue planet on which we journey through the cold void of space.

I feel like a new person. Not because of my career, but just because of what I've had to go through to pursue my career.

The Roman jurisprudence has the longest known history of any set of human institutions.

They would have been very let down if they had to leave the theater and he had missed. He would feel badly. Everyone would feel badly. But he never let them down.

If any guy threatened her she'd probably suffocate him with her oversized tee.

Far happier are the dead methinks than they who look for death and fear it every day.