The church is so subnormal that if it ever got back to the New Testament normal it would seem to people to be abnormal.

Christians, like snowflakes, are frail, but when they stick together they can stop traffic.

At the rate America is decaying morally, we shall have to change our national symbol from an eagle to a vulture.

The devil is not fighting religion. He´s too smart for that. He is producing a counterfeit Christianity, so much like the real one that good Christians are afraid to speak out against it.

Satan is not fighting churches; he is joining them. He does more harm by sowing tares than by pulling up wheat. He accomplishes more by imitation than by outright opposition.

It is not our business to make the message acceptable, but to make it available. We are not to see that they like it, but that they get it.

A preacher should have the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros. His problem is how to toughen his hide without hardening his heart.

If you are a Christian, you are not a citizen of this world trying to get to heaven; you are a citizen of heaven making your way through this world.

Salt seasons, purifies, preserves. But somebody ought to remind us that salt also irritates. Real living Christianity rubs this world the wrong way.

The primary qualification for a missionary is not love for souls, as we so often hear, but love for Christ.

Salvation is a helmet, not a nightcap.

Every spot on earth is particular, detailed, and incomprehensibly complex.

So, I have to know, " he says, "what are you?"But just because he has to know doesn't mean I have to tell him anything.

I'm not wild about hand-held shots.

When you expand your awareness, seemingly random events will be seen to fit into a larger purpose.

Gah, some chicks should be shot. Put out of everyone else's reproduction pool.

Fascism wants Baptism coast to coast.

Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.

If someone wants to sticker a record for whatever reason, that's fine. But once it affects someone's opportunity to, you know, get that record, then I have a problem with it.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

I assure you that interest in Japanese culture in Russia is just as strong as interest in Russian culture in Japan.