The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

If one comes to fundamentals then this is the most fundamental thing: the moment you are not, enlightenment is. With emptiness, the matter is settled.

The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.

Usually you kind of give the President a pass on leaking confidential stuff.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

Though it's thousands of miles away Sierra Leone connect to what we go through today Over here, its a drug trade, we die from drugs Over there, they die from what we buy from drugs

We kill everybody, my dear. Some with bullets, some with words, and everybody with our deeds. We drive people into their graves, and neither see it nor feel it.

I want to be able to write, that's my first love and I don't want to deviate from it even though I probably could have made a lot more money.

The more people talk about eating disorders, the more people get the real story about what they're like.

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Do not be afraid to make mistakes providing you do not make the same one twice.