The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

Friendship makes the impossible possible!

It's difficult to cope with the infinite variety of the past, and so we apply filters and settle on a few famous names.

There is one thing we can do better than anyone else: we can be ourselves.

You know what days these are? The days of Elijah. We are in the days of Elijah! Fire is falling down from heaven!

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

If your world today seems confusing, be comforted by the words of the prophets of God who have told you what the future holds for you as a child of God.

A flame burns brightest just before it goes out.

Making the most of your life is unusual. That's why you need to develop unusual habits to earn outstanding rewards.

The votaries of nonviolence cannot harbour violence even in thought, let alone the question of doing it.

If you stop to be kind, you must swerve often from your path.