The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other stupid people.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Don't judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.

Yet do I fear thy nature It is too full o' the milk of human kindness.

Without freedom of speech, there is no modern world, just a barbaric one.

I think astrology is annoying bullshit-which is so Libra of me

Slud is something more than slid. It means sliding with great effort.

Read carefully anything that requires your signature. Remember the big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The most powerful narcotic in the world is the promise of belonging.

It doesn't so much matter what one loves. To love is the transfiguring thing.

Men like me feel that untouchability is no integral part of Hinduism, it is an excrescence.

Fear is a fire to temper courage and resolve. Use it so.