The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

The ethos of redemption is realied in self-mastery, by means of temperance, that is, continence of desires.

You never know who you're inspiring or uninspiring. People notice more than you think.

A healthy body is a guest-chamber for the soul a sick body is a prison.

Genuine happiness comes from within, and often it comes in spontaneous feelings of joy.

No Western government has ever played the long-term in terms of foreign policy.

He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.

Getting outdoors is always fun. In the summertime, I like to go waterskiing and swimming; during the winter, I'll sometimes go jogging or hiking.

Even growing up, I was always the helper-outer, the sous-chef to my parents.

Of course I have an ego, but you have to have an ego. You have to be incredibly competitive. I can get competitive at times, way too much, and it becomes a little bit obsessive.

There's keen delight in what we have: The rattle of pebbles on the shore Under the receding wave.