The craze of genealogy is connected with the epidemic for divorce. If we can't figure out who our living relatives are, then maybe we'll have more luck with the dead ones.

It's better to oversleep and miss the boat than get up early and sink.

A rainy day is like a lovely gift -- you can sleep late and not feel guilty.

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on.

I think best in a hot bath, with my head tilted back and my feet up high.

You can't run from feelings, Charity. You have to face them. Otherwise your future will look just like your past.

A massage is just like a movie, really relaxing and a total escape, except in a massage you're the star. And you don't miss anything by falling asleep!

I have lived my life in the slipstream of experience

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.

Laughter is just like champagne -- only without the headache afterwards.

We are so busy trying to make a better TOMORROW that we forget to make the best of TODAY.

This is what a place like this does to you. It makes you put words in the beaks of chickens.

Of all forms of deception self-deception is the most deadly, and of all deceived persons the self-deceived are the least likely to discover the fraud.

I read the Bible every day.

....What I learned was that these athletes were not disabled, they were superabled. The Olympics is where heroes are made. The Paralympics is where heroes come.

Married pixy, I told myself, forcing my eyes back to the shelf of ceramic animals. Fifty-four kids. Beautiful wife, sweet as sugar, who would kill me in my sleep while apologizing for it.

I can't be the big star in the family. We have a family, and we are all equal.

Denial of one appetite sharpens the others.

Theres such big pressure on people who are incredibly famous, on those who have people sitting outside their front door and taking photos every time they move.

I'm attracted to heartbreakers.