The crazy game of pilling stones was also in you and your friends’ marvelous innovation. And how really hard you would hit the phony big guy who you hated like anything.

Children see magic because they look for it.

Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood.

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

Science can destroy religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the nonexistence of Zeus or Thor, but they have few followers now.

Knowing you are alive is watching on every side your generation's short time falling away as fast as rivers drop through air, and feeling it hit.

... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?

The tales of Elfland do not stand or fall on their actuality but on their truthfulness, their speaking to the human condition, the longings we all have for the Faerie Other.

Touch magic. Pass it on.

That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

I had learned that you should always shout louder than your aggressor.

There is nothing deep down inside us except what we have put there ourselves.

It's fun being a girl.

The days were sunny, the nights were star-studded. Indeed married life was strawberries for breakfast and loving all the time.

Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue.

I'm an atheist how unfortunate it is to assign responsibility to the higher up for justice amongst people.

People don't remember you for all of the good things you do. They remember the time you blew a giant green snot bubble out your nose.

The truth seems . . . to be that in the ultimate and essential problem the economic factor is relatively superficial and unimportant.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

Not for the first time in my life, and certainly not for the last, a self-righteous gloom had edged out all semblance of logic.

He whose intellect overcomes his lust is higher than the angels; he whose lust overcomes his intelligence is less than an animal.