The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.

A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.

This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

I ain't from Africa. I'm from St. Louis.

His worried face falls away and is replaced with what can only be described as a glow--like someone who has a terrific secret and they're about to let you in on it.

Every uncorrected error and unrepented sin is, in its own right, a fountain of fresh error and fresh sin flowing on to the end of time.

There is just no getting around that turning bad things into good things is up to you.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

I believe in only one thing and that thing is human liberty.

The Bible isn’t about people trying to discover God, but about God reaching out to find us.

Nothing brings me more joy than seeing other people's dreams come true.

Of course you cannot free yourself from the laws of nature; but the laws of nervous systems are not the same as the physical laws.

Nothing fazes me. I'm like some kinda Space man on his way to Mars with a big gun and a whole lot of coffee.

Next to eating good dinners, a healthy man with a benevolent turn of mind, must like, I think, to read about them.