The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

I am among those who firmly believe that a round of golf should not take more than three and a half hours, four at most. Anything longer than that is not a round of golf, it's life in Albania.

Laughter is the only thing that'll cut trouble down to a size where you can talk to it.

Only two things can stop Tiger — injury or a bad marriage.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

Lonnie says it doesn't take long to write a song if you're stricken with a severe case of the Tennysons. He wasn't necessarily talking about a chart-climber.

Every golfer has at least 14 enemies: his clubs.

No outside events can disturb your inner peace.

Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg.

Music sweeps by me as a messenger carrying a message that is not for me.

Women have respect for me.

Food has always been at the center of community bonding, of family life, and simple pleasure, but it is becoming more and more an obsession, a source of pain.

As I became very defined in my personal politics, I turned down some films that I slightly regret now; I'm not going to say what they were.

That prose is a verse, and verse is a prose; convincing all, by demonstrating plain – poetic souls delight in prose insane

Tradition was safety; change was danger.

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

Your mistake does not define who you are...you are your possibilities.