The diseases of the present have little in common with the diseases of the past save that we die of them.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh.

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!

It takes time and trouble to persuade ourselves that the things we want to do are the things we ought to do.

Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.

For indeed all that we think so new to-day has been acted over and over again, a shifting comedy, by the women of every century.

No man pursues what he has at hand. No man recognizes the need of pursuit until that which he desires has escaped him.

There are few things more wearisome in a fairly fatiguing life than the monotonous repetition of a phrase which catches and holds the public fancy by virtue of its total lack of significance.

It is not what we learn in conversation that enriches us. It is the elation that comes of swift contact with tingling currents of thought.

For my part, the good novel of character is the novel I can always pick up; but the good novel of incident is the novel I can never lay down.

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.

You couldn't be a racist and live in L.A.; you'd be exhausted.

The danger lies in forgetting.

Please accept a promise from me in his name that I will always live in the religion in which he died.

I'd like to do more comedy, but i think my forte is still in the heavy. I'd love to do a comic lead, a musical.

Sometimes you don't get but one mistake, if the one you pick is bad enough.

I think God outdid Himself when He created children.

Perception is one millionth of one percent reality (truth in fact).

I'm full of dust and guitars.

Pessimists calculate the odds. Optimists believe they can overcome them.