The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

I told you we were meant to be, " he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but who I just didn't see and now--Well, now I kiss him.

The young man pities his elders, fearing the day he, too, will join their ranks. The elderly man pities the younger generation, well-knowing the trials and tribulations that lie ahead of them.

I’d prefer you accuse my son, so he can defend his innocence rather than prolong unnecessary guilt." (Spoken by Bracke, told by Eric)

Give me matter, and I will construct a world out of it!

how these words, wait to diein the arms of all the poetry..yet to be written.

All my life I’ve been a lady bruiser, a wrong chooser, school refuser, drug abuser, born loser; clothes bummy, nose runny, it wasn’t funny

I have filled 3 Mead notebooks trying to figure out whether it was Them or Just Me.

Half is not enough protection, half is my fault and half is them just doing a good job. I know it's 150 percent, but I'm a little tired now.

We can't help identifying with the protagonist. It's coded in our movie-going DNA.

It's like this: The time between having an idea and its public launch is measured in days not months, weeks not years.