The dominant type of humor in the '60s was essentially defensive and self-deprecating, using humor as a shield.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Do you feel loved by God because you believe he makes much of you, or because you believe he frees you and empowers you to enjoy making much of him?

I’m supposed to believe it’s a coincidence that we’re both former spies that ended up together?

At the bottom of a good deal of the bravery that appears in the world there lurks a miserable cowardice. Men will face powder and steel because they cannot face public opinion.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

As a friendly one. I would still like to write concrete poems, but I can only do it sometimes.

When you're really close to someone, they can make fun of you a lot and get away with it. But they sort of poke you in all of the right places.

Gazzy sniffed the air. "That's explosives. It smells like Christmas!" Okay, so we've had somewhat untraditional Christmases. With explosives.

(I must tell my Hon. Friend Miss Janet Fookes) that although I have always been attracted to her I have never actually dared ask her whether she would go to bed with me.

Every old goalkeeper loses a step at some point, but you can gain that back through experience.