The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them.

It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.

Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were.

I assure you, an educated fool is more foolish than an uneducated one.

I want people to be sincere; a man of honor shouldn't speak a single word that doesn't come straight from his heart.

People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.

I hate all men, the ones because they are mean and vicious, and the others for being complaisant with the vicious ones.

Great is the fortune of he who possesses a good bottle, a good book, and a good friend.

Folk whose own behavior is most ridiculous are always to the fore in slandering others.

A husband is a plaster that cures all the ills of girlhood.

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until... we have stopped saying "It got lost " and say "I lost it."

If you cry "Forward " you must make plain in what direction to go.

As Justice Sandra Day O'Connor stated, even a state of war is not a blank check for a president to do whatever he wants.

In August of 1921, one of the great American combinations was unveiled—even better than the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This fortuitous new blend was radio and baseball.

the relentless touring and endless repetition of the same songs over and over again promoted a creeping awareness that my music had begun to sound like my washing machine.

If you will not stand with Israel, then I will not stand with you

... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.

People don't want to pay 8 or 9 dollars to go see a problem that they have in their life, on screen. They pay to get away from that. That's why they watch soap operas

What America needs is a good five-cent cigar.

In the battle for preserving sound social and moral norms, many religious institutions can no longer be counted as allies.