The easiest thing for our friends to discover in us, and the hardest thing for us to discover in ourselves, is that we are growing old.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Behind the perfection of a man's style, must lie the passion of a man's soul.

There was no arguing with a man when he started saying thing like that -- using logic as a weapon.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

Every day is Thanksgiving for me, man. Yeah, I still have an audience, and they ask the local promoter, "When is Al coming back?"

Clearly no working class movement ever came about that was able to do what Marx was hoping for.

You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don't have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody.

Note too that a faithful study of the liberal arts humanizes character and permits it not to be cruel.

Never change for the mainstream—stay in your lane, and if you’re talented and resilient enough the mainstream will come to you.

Love in my heart is a cry forever Lost as the swallow's flight, Seeking for you and never, never Stilled by the stars at night

In the whole story of Jesus Christ, the most important event is the resurrection.