The fact of the matter is, you can't do comedy unless someone is behaving badly. Otherwise, it's not a comedy.

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

You hold precious what you create for yourself in your life that makes you comfortable.

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building in 13 years.

I'm racist against non-black people.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to be a hyphenate. That's a good thing.

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.

The audience loves to figure things out. They love it when a performer leaves a trail of bread crumbs for them, and they get to participate in the comedy.

If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

To be too knowing is a downfall.

I don't know what kind of great I'm bound to be, " Dove considered his prospects calmly, "all I know for certain is I'm born a world-shaker.

Our kiss eclipses all others, real, imagine, dreamed of. It is the beginning of time, it is the end of the ages.

Where do you go when you die twice-lest a thousand deaths?

How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes?

Pain is essential. Often I cannot avoid it.Therefore all one can do is redeem it; and the only way to redeem it is through literature, art, poetry, music.

Not until we have learned to be useful can we afford to do what we like.

The ordinary scientific man is strictly a sentimentalist. He is a sentimentalist in this essential sense, that he is soaked and swept away by mere associations.

Watt's concern, deep as it appeared, was not after all what the figure was, in reality, but with what the figure appeared to be, in reality.

He that is thy friend indeed, he will help you in your need.