The fact that you can see a movie at home, it's great. You're making it for as many people to see it as possible. And that's nice.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Glance into the world just as though time were gone: and everything crooked will become straight to you.

We often need to lose sight of our priorities in order to see them.

I couldn't think of anything worse than going to a fancy dress party. So, if somebody invited me to one, I'd go as the Invisible Man and not turn up.

For the first time, we live in a society that shows any sign of the possibility of women changing this condition.

I think it would be a tragic statement of the universe if Java was the last language that swept through.

Garments that have once one rent in them are subject to be torn on every nail, and glasses that are once cracked are soon broken; such is man's good name once tainted with just reproach.

Passion mutates into procedures, into rules and roles. Instead of purpose, we focus on policies. Instead of being free to create, we impose constraints that squeeze the life out of us.

Whatever worked in the past, build on it; whatever didn't work in the past, break the chain that binds you to it.

Got a budget for the lawyer though.

I've learned to take time for myself and to treat myself with a great deal of love and respect, because I like me.. I think I'm kind of cool.