The facts of Watergate have been wildly exaggerated.

[Canada's social welfare system is] an overgenerous reinsurance policy for an underachieving people.

All emphasis in American prisons is on punishment, retribution, and disparagement, and almost none is on rehabilitation.

Given the genocidal belligerence of Iranian threats against Israel, it is hard to take issue with Israel's right to preemptive self-defense.

Greed has been severely underestimated and denigrated - unfairly so, in my opinion.

There is not one shred of evidence that the Internet has had any downward influence on North American or European newspaper circulation.

Economics is half psychology and half Grade Three arithmetic, and the U.S. does not now have either half right.

Terrorists cannot threaten the survival of a great nation.

The American legal industry is a medieval guild in which the prosecutors, bar, and bench join hands to ensure that legal invoices are paid, no matter how excessive.

I made 50 million bucks yesterday. That's a flameout I could get used to.

The U.S. prosecution service is eating at the soul of the American republic. It is an absolute danger to everyone.

All changes are born within.

Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.

Children have empty erasable white boards upon which big people write indelibly imprinted messages into their tender subconscious minds.

My own attitude to the innumerable injustices of life has always been a philosophical one, especially when they have tended to operate in my favour.

When I say that Zen is life, I mean that Zen is not to be confined within conceptualization, that Zen is what makes conceptualization possible.

It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become.

So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.

Why would the disciples invent a God whose holiness was more terrifying than the forces of nature that provoked them to invent a god in the first place?

I'm a pussycat unless you do something to one of my friends. Then I'll think of unique ways to get back at you. I'm more creative than your average bear.

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because - like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle - it was a labour of love.