The fake slap invariably makes contact, adding the elements of shock and betrayal to what had previously been plain old-fashioned fear.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

You are the storyteller and the editor of your book of life. So write tales of imagination, tragedy, and adventure and illustrate it with the colors of beauty.

Very softly as he nuzzled her, his mouth near her ear, he began to sing: "I'm so happy with you, la, la...

For every criminal mastermind, there were ten cretins: the cruel algebra of intelligence applied across the masses.

I had a good imagination and I still have one a child-like imagination that hasn't gone away.

I could sneak up on a coyote if I've a mind to!

Maintain a firm grasp of the obvious at all times.

I thought lightning wasn't supposed to strike in the same place twice....sure it does...but only if you're too dumb to move.

The calla lilies are in bloom again.

I knew a Sage once. Trashy little thing.

I had rather be a kitten and cry mew Than one of these same metre ballet-mongers.